Smarmy Gay PDA is OK

You know how four-year-olds blow air kisses? They smoosh their pudgy four-year-old palms awkwardly against their cherubic cheeks, snotty nose…whatever and with bright laughing eyes and splayed fingers they push the air kiss forcefully out into the universe in that ecstatic four-year-old way.

Well, that’s exactly how I returned Dan’s discreet air-kiss at the gym yesterday. He was on the leg press sending a regular manly, non-showy, pretty reserved, air kiss and twenty feet away I nearly knocked over the chest fly machine acting like a four-year-old returning the favor.

It was hilarious if I do say so myself.

However, a woman nearby didn’t think so. I asked Dan about this, and he agreed, she looked like she could be Kim Davis‘ cousin. So we will call her Ms. Lynn Mavis. Ms. Lynn Mavis did NOT like our smarmy gay PDA (Public Display of Affection.) She snarly nosed glared at us and shortly after gathered up her daughter and walked to another part of the gym.

Granted, if it hadn’t been me and I saw another couple doing that I would probably roll my eyes but still think it was funny.

However, it was us, and it was awesome in spite of Ms. Lynn Mavis’ glare. I am not willing to not act like a kissy four-year-old at the gym if the Ms. Lynn Mavis’ of the world get perturbed, rustle up their kids and run away. I had fun, and it made Dan laugh.

Worth it!

Not even embarrassed… well maybe a little when I remember my age … BUT, this got me thinking, Dan and I hold hands…a lot. And I usually never think about it. It’s just something we do like millions of other dating couples do every moment of every day. We held hands all day at Disney, at the Scottish Festival, at Dexter’s Lake Mary on Ladies Night (not kidding, happened)…and pretty much everywhere we have been in the greater Orlando metro area. It has happened on a few occasions, but we rarely get weird looks or snarky “micro-aggressions.” We are blessed to live in an area that recognizes equality in policy and interpersonally on a community level.

I know who I am, who we are, and what we are doing is healthy for us. Given where we are at personally and as a dating couple, all good stuff. While smarmy/silly at times (on my part), it’s not inappropriate. There’s the world to enjoy and find love in; this is a good thing to engage.

You might be glad to know that I did not follow Ms. Lynn Davis around the gym to blow her four-year-old style air kisses… but I was tempted.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • That comment about holding hands… I’m and in a relationship with a wonderful man who has been out for decades. I’m very unselfconscious about things like holding hands in public, and sometimes surprised by how guarded his experience has made him. He delights in my naïveté, but it makes me think about what we all bring to the table.

    • Randy Thomas

      Very true. I think that is great and am happy for you. I remember being incredibly guarded the first time I was out in the ’80’s (for very good reasons, suffered assault more than once) but this time around…it just isn’t phasing me. I am sure if I were back in middle Tennessee or similar environment that I would be much more guarded but not here :). Thanks Doug!