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Authentic Relationship Helps The Heart Grow

I love this photo. Dan looks so fun! This was right before a trike ride.

I texted Dan that it is too quiet. I miss him, them. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder… yeah, I get that. However it’s being in intimate relationship that has made my heart grow in all kinds of positive ways.

I have bookoodles of love for Dan and Autumn when they are here, but now that they have been gone for going on five days, well, it’s just not normal. I don’t like it.  Man, these bookoodles of love seem to be growing exponentially and Dan and Autumn need to get home soon :).

Which is so weird to think about for this 49-year-old guy who had previously been “unattached” and living alone most of my life as a celibate (“spiritual” reasons). It’s taken me five days to figure out I don’t ever want to live like that perpetual single “sanctified” bachelor again. Since I have been with Dan I have not wanted that, but being by myself again for the first time in almost 9 months, I am self-aware enough to know that being alone turns me into an even weirder weirdo than usual

To fill up time, I have cleaned some, worked, painted, and named inanimate objects. Yes, I name inanimate objects like Dan’s car. Since I am driving it while they are gone (They took Hubert The Handsome Humble Hybrid with them), Dan’s car is now ‘Little Lord MercedeyTank’. It’s quite a demanding beast of a car and that title seems to fit. I’ve also paced, played loud music, taken Little Lord MercedyTank on errands, had a couple of work meetings, snuck in some exercise and yes maybe even a couple of naps.

But that’s still about me … in 9 months my heart has grown beyond me in a new way…

My arms miss his embrace. I miss his surprise laughter when I sneak attack a tickle to his neck with my scruff. I miss messing with his awesome hair. I miss picking on him for the feathers that STILL waft out of the laundry room from time to time. Miss him pulling up after a long day’s work with a giggling ten-year old in tow. Plus I miss his calm demeanor and sage advice after I say things like, “Dan! Oh #%!@ we have a ghost!” Ghost is what I named the opossum in the attic… that Dan will take care of … right Dan? … Dan, get rid of the ghost please! … Dan …?

He’s loyal, loving, caring, other-centered, not afraid to laugh and not afraid to have difficult conversations… yeah, I love him. He makes me smile and I miss his. My heart isn’t at “home” without him around.

Even though he likes RomComs and “some” Taylor Swift songs! #Blech Haven’t missed those offerings or references at all. 🙂

Being in a loving and romantic relationship makes hearts grow in many ways. I am so glad mine is not locked away anymore… WARNING: IMMINENT HALLMARK SCHMOOZY LINGO AHEAD – … I am so glad mine is not locked away anymore… and that Dan holds the key!  SEE! Told you… #Schmoozy

Published inOUTside The Closet Door

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