One concern I have for those who hold to inerrancy is that they seem to indicate that their entire faith would collapse if the Bible were found to have one real error. As I noted in a previous chapter, this seems a very weak foundation for one’s faith. The early Christians did not see an inerrant Bible as the foundation for their faith. For them, it was Jesus Christ, God’s Word enfleshed, that was the foundation of their faith.” – Excerpt From: Hamilton, Adam. Making Sense of the Bible. Harpercollins Publishers. iBooks.
Jesus has used the Bible to inspire and transform my life in many ways. The Spirit has revealed, counseled, and taught me many valuable insights from the 66 books that make up the Bible. That said, I have been silent about the scriptures for a few years now; very rarely mentioning or quoting them. There has been good reason for the silence.
The single question I am most often asked over the past 13 months is, “How do you reconcile being gay, and looking forward to your future husband, with the scriptures?” Most of the time when I get that question via a private message or email I simply don’t answer. I am wary of that question being a trojan horse for someone revving up for some verbal stone-throwing. I have seen that discussion unfold hundreds and hundreds of times over my life. I can almost script the potential conversations verbatim.
Today I am going to break the silence and speak to this quickly. The following is not comprehensive, and I certainly do not want to imply others should agree with me. Here goes…
I see it this way, given that Jesus summarized whole of scripture to love God with your whole being and your neighbor as yourself, to do unto others as you would want done unto you … my faith in Christ compels and empowers me to do that.
Plus, seeing the damaging and deadly fruit of stigmatizing legalistic theology, I could no longer ignore or deny that I was living in idealization, talking points, and behavioral modification. I was not living in the reality of what is, but instead, I was living in the fantasy of what I thought “should be.” I could no longer explain away the life-giving love of gay people and couples all around me. I slowly accepted that Christ was not condemning me for who I was as a gay man and that I wasn’t “going back” but was truly becoming free and whole. I realized that I had done everything, believed everything, and taught all things ex-gay and still had a pure love and yearning for my future husband … and that the persistence of this desire isn’t a manifestation of brokenness, it is a beautiful expression of who I am.
I now believe that desire for relational/emotional intimacy with another man didn’t change or leave me because it didn’t need to. I looked and saw the fruit of the Spirit manifesting in gay lives and relationships, not in ex-gay 501(c)3 parachurch organizations. It was the difference between grapes on a vine and grape jelly in a jar.
I am gay, and it’s not only ok but it also a life-giving gift. Being gay is not the whole of who I am, but it is a wonderful part of the gift of life our Creator has given me. I am grateful to Him for that.
Quietly I have been meditating on scripture and seeking God for knowledge and wisdom. Many conservatives have and will scoff at that thought. A few call me all manner of evil and say I have abandoned the scripture to embrace “darkness” and “brokenness.” It’s as if they believe that the scriptures are the high priest of my faith. The Bible is not my high priest and Jesus never declared it would be.
Jesus is my high priest. He is the only inerrant, infallible word of God. He is, truly, enough. And yet, some will negatively judge me as ignorant or rebellious because I have yet, and won’t, quote a scripture in this post.
Over the past few years I have come to some different conclusions about the Bible; changed my mind on quite a few things. I believe that the Holy Spirit is guiding me in all of that. Lately, I have been yearning for more spiritual readings and further study. A friend told me about a book rocking her world called “Making Sense of the Bible” by Adam Hamilton. I am halfway through it, and it is rocking my world too! Particularly in that, almost all of what Mr. Hamilton is saying are conclusions I had come to (in a more basic form) over the past couple of years. I am enthralled with this book and haven’t even gotten to the more controversial modern parts yet! The chapter on homosexuality is almost at the very end of the book! But I have been good and reading the book in order. I don’t want to limit the whole of Mr. Hamilton’s message to one part of it.
I will admit to weeping a few times during my reading of the book so far. It has been so relieving to see what I thought the Spirit was telling me echoed in this Pastor’s wisdom about the scripture and his experience with our living Christ.
So, how do I fully reconcile my beliefs about being gay with the scriptures? I don’t have a full theological answer that will satisfy most people who might care to know what I think. What I do know is that I am reconciled to Christ, and He is more than enough.
I have a feeling I might be writing more about this in the future…maybe. 🙂